Robert Pattinson

Who cares about who won the presidential election or what a “Benghazi” is -- this is AMERICA, so let's get to the important headlines! Like, say, Justin Bieber wearing overalls and a backwards hat to meet Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper.

Did you know that George Clooney has a sister? Ermagerd, he's JUST LIKE US! Her name is Adelia Zeidler, and while she doesn't exactly possess the same "style" that her Sexiest Man Alive brother does, she sure is on his side.

Twi-hards had their twi-hearts twi-broken when "trampire" Kristen Stewart cheated on longtime boyfriend Robert Pattinson. I wasn’t there, but I heard K. Stew's apology went something like, “Uh…er um…like…like, totally,” and R. Patt’s response was something like, “We, uh….eh…bee bop-bop tiddly boop,” and then they stared at each other for a long, awkward period of time.