‘Kim Kardashian is Preggo’ and Other Celebrity News No One Cares About

As you probably already know, the world’s most annoying baby will be entering the world in approximately eight months. In case you DIDN’T already know, Kanye West made the announcement at his show via serenade for Kim Kardashian. A girl can only pray that someday she’s lucky enough to have a man appoint her as his baby mama in front of thousands of people through an AutoTuned jumble of words. So romantic!

In case you actually left your house, or did something other than sit in front of your computer all day, here’s some other celebrity news you may have missed:

• Now that Jessica Simpson has officially left her singing/acting career for “babymaking,” she continues to have the AUDACITY to go out in public even though she’s PREGNANT.
• Ryan Lochte is getting his own reality show. Next week, Honey Boo Boo becomes president.
• Taylor Swift is never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever going to not be made fun of using her own song titles. Also, catch ya later, Harry Styles!
• Eva Longoria hopped into a limo outside of her home. IN CASE YOU WERE WONDERING.
• Justin Bieber smokes pot! And the grass is green, the sky is blue, etc.
• Matt Dallas is gay. OK, the guy who starred in that show that one time (Kyle XY) is engaged to a dude.