Man Dies And Friends Bring Him Out On The Town in Weekend At Bernie’s Tribute

Robert Young found his buddy Jeffery Jarrett dead at his home. Instead of calling 911 Robert Young and Mark Rubbinson loaded Jeffery's body in in the back of an SUV and their party began.

They started their night at Teddy T’s, a bar and grill at E. Evans Ave. According to the Chicago Tribune Investigators say the suspects used Jeff’s cash, while his body was outside in the car. Later in the evening Rob and Mark went to eat while the body stayed in the parking lot. The two then took Jarrett’s body back home and then went out on the town, reportedly using their dead friend’s ATM card. How far would you go for your best friends? After chowing down some grub, this time at Viva Burrito, the two made one last stop at Shotgun Willie’s. Where they withdrew $400 of Jarrett’s money and stayed until the strip club closed. Staying at the strip club till closing time? Latest nights are the greatest nights ladies and gentlemen, the sun is up before you're home that's how you know you did it right. Finally, at 4 a.m., the two flagged down a Glendale cop and told him their friend was "back at his house, and that he might be dead."

Hell yea! This is how I want it all to go down when ya boy bites the bullet. None of that Wake/Shiva or Open Casket nonsense. You wanna dress me up and throw me in a box and have people come to a smelly dusty funeral home and sit there and stare at me in silence and cry? For sure not. Lets hit up Mighty Taco and Coles for one last hurrah. Let me sit shotgun while my boys run up a tab on my card at Sundowner. One last blackout bender brought to you from the great beyond. Listen, if I croak early in the night and my boys are there, they’re more than welcome to steal my wallet and go to all the Viva Burritos, and Shotgun Willie’s Strip Clubs they want. It’s not even a question — it’s guy code. Mutual respect.

So this is my last will and testament:

When I die, prop me up at the bar at Sky Lounge on a Thursday night 2 for 1. Order me filet on toast, a Bones Burger, and a Blue Moon. Keep the tab open, and keep the party flowin, and dances on me for everyone to close out the night.

This is such a classic coming of age story. The 1989 film Weekend at Bernie's coming to life right before our eyes in Denver, Colorado. And if this film taught me anything its that some peoples eyes never close after they die and despite not moving, saying anything, or doing anything at all besides lying there, Bernie gave Vito's girlfriend the best sex of her life.

I’d much rather my boys get a few good laughs and times in the back of a dirty strip club with my credit card than have some mysterious coroner steal my rings, jewelry and bling while I’m in the morgue.

That’s what friends are for, right?

[Chicago Tribune]