The ultimate authority on record-breaking achievement is the Guinness Book of World Records. Some Guinness World Records are shocking. Some are insane. More than a few are downright disgusting. There are some Guinness World Records that are damn hot. From women with massive chests to balloon busting babes, these are eight Guinness records that are oddly very sexy.

  • 8

    Fastest Time Bursting Balloons With The Back

    Julia Gunthel, aka 'Zlata', of Germany holds the 12-second record for 'Fastest Time To Burst Three Balloons With The Back.' We'd imagine with Zlata, nothing would be off limits. Also, we'd imagine she has heard every sexual request, so a guy is going to have to be pretty original.
  • 7

    Oldest Female Bodybuilder

    The oldest competitive female bodybuilder is Ernestine Shepherd. Born in 1936, Ernestine didn't begin working out until the age of 56 after bathing suit shopping with her sister, Velvet. While trying on the suits, the sisters found themselves laughing at each other. They knew it was time to get in better shape. Nothing wrong with a little GILF action every once in a while. Stop acting like you haven't thought about it.
  • 6

    World's Longest Kiss

    The longest kiss lasted 46 hours, 24 minutes and 9 seconds by Ekkachai and Laksana Tiranarat of Thailand. Now that is some foreplay! The sex right after the kiss probably lasted about eleven seconds but that record doesn't seem to be listed with the Guinness people.

    BBC News
    BBC News
  • 5

    Largest Natural Breasts

    For once, it's actually OK to stare at a woman's chest. In fact, Annie Hawkins-Turner (aka Norma Stitz) would probably insist the attention considering her ginormous knockers are world record setters. Annie has an under-breast measurement of 43 inches and an around chest-over-nipple measurement of 70 inches.
  • 4

    Most Swords Swallowed Simultaneously By a Female

    Natasha Veruschka swallowed 13 swords, each at least 15 inches long. While this is kind of sexy, it's also kind of intimidating, considering the length that Veruschka is accustomed to handling.
  • 3

    Farthest Distance Climbed Inverted Up A Pole In One Minute

    Men love a woman that can work a pole. The record for inverted pole climb in a minute is 31 feet, 11 inches and belongs to Nele Bruckmann of Germany. Instead of dancing to the song 'Dr. Feelgood,' Nele could make it up and down the pole at least five times before the song ends. Now that's worth more than a few singles in the G-string.
  • 2

    Longest Legs On a Female

    While Annie Hawkins-Turner's chesticles appeal to the breast men in the crowd, Svetlana Pankratova will appeal to the leg men. Svetlana sports has the world's longest legs that measure 51.9 inches. Her legs alone are over 4 feet tall. Those pins could wrap around a guy twice and still have enough left over for‚ eh, we better stop now and keep this PG.
  • 1

    World's Longest Cucumber

    The longest cucumber measured 119.38 cm (47 in) was grown by Clare Pearce of Peterborough, UK. The specimen was an Armenian cucumber -- Cucumis melo flexosus. Don't make us explain the joke here. It's called an innuendo. No, that wasn't the boy band with Ricky Martin.

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