Enough! It’s like every 30 seconds with people on the social media:

“Ok, this poll will determine ONCE AND FOR ALL who has the best wings in Buffalo, NY!”

I’m going to save you all a lot of time. No one has the best wings. It’s all subjective. Some places have really excellent wings. Some places have good wings.

Even the worst places make halfway decent wings. Even if a restaurant is terrible at everything and they drop your wings on the floor, you’re still going to enjoy them because you’re slathering them with blue cheese. Wings are good. Why can’t people just accept that?

You don’t need to worry about which bar, pizza place, or wing joint has the best wings because it’s all relative to your experience. Arguing about who has the best wings is like arguing what the best color is. It’s an opinion. You’re only choosing your favorite restaurant because you like the atmosphere, owners, or you lost your virginity in their bathroom.

Wing arguments create ‘Armageddon-level’ Twitter polls where bars and restaurants beg for votes and the losing wing place complains that the winning wing place solicited votes. Then, we do it all again six months later. Nothing is solved. Nothing is solved except the reality that wings are good.

The online world is already a hellscape for confrontation. Everyone argues about everything and nothing gets solved. Do we really need to argue when no one really cares one way or another? Turning my phone on has become equivalent to snipping a blue wire that may or may not ignite a bomb. I don’t need wing battles to add to that anxiety. It would be more beneficial to the community if we posted things like, “Hey everyone, I’m eating wings! Come join me!”

Sure, maybe wing battles bring out the best in the city. Maybe these pointless competitions remind people to go out and support local businesses. This is a positive side effect of the stupidity. There has to be a better way to promote the goodness of wings. I’m tired of the arguing.

You don’t have to waste all of your time screaming at people on Twitter. You don’t have to destroy your life, painstakingly scanning Facebook comments to find people to argue with. We don’t have to determine ONCE AND FOR ALL who has the best wings in Buffalo. It’s pointless.

Let’s not do this every month. Let’s all relax and not argue over who has the best wings.

Besides, everyone knows it’s Nine-Eleven Tavern.

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